


Of Literature and History

by MagicalDragon



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Autistic Alec, Established Relationship, Historical References, Homophobia, M/M, Queer History, Queer Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-24 22:59:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9790922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicalDragon/pseuds/MagicalDragon
Summary: To grow up in a shadowhunter institute is to grow up isolated, not just from mundane society and culture, but from any information The Clave doesn't want you to have. There has been a lot of information Alec wanted but couldn't have throughout the years. Luckily, Magnus doesn't mind sharing.





	

The Clave’s idea of what constituted suitable literature had always been very strict. There had been laws about it for a long time - laws Alec had heard Magnus liken to something called the Hays Code, though he didn’t get the reference, which, he’d guess, was likely because of said laws. They’d been relaxed in the 60s and repealed entirely in the 90s, but shadowhunter culture continued to uphold the spirit of them. Any literature by downworlders was strongly frowned upon, as was any with “corrupting” themes. Other media, such as movies and TV shows, had always been a rarity at the New York Institute - they were largely considered a waste a time - though Alec did have fond memories of watching _The Prince of Egypt_ as a child.

Growing up, Alec had mostly read shadowhunter literature, though he’d never been the most avid reader of fiction. Instead he had preferred to spend his time memorising runes and reading all about different types of demons and downworlders, with an enthusiasm that pleased his parents but alienated him from the other kids.

Magnus didn’t think much of shadowhunter literature. He’d once referred to it as “moralistic drivel” which… Alec supposed was hard to argue with. It was fiction controlled by the Clave, after all. Still, Alec couldn’t help but feel a fondness for the stories he’d grown up with of dutiful shadowhunters facing down evil unflinchingly. Nostalgia was irrational, there was nothing to be done for it.

It had been Simon - or maybe Clary? - who’d first tried to convince Alec to become more familiar with pop culture, but it had been Magnus who’d convinced him. He’d always ignored Simon and Clary - as was usually preferable - when they made suggestions for what he should read or watch, but he trusted Magnus’ taste.

So here he was. A shadowhunter, reading _Harry Potter_ of all things (“It’s really quite era-defining, Alexander”). Fantastical elements had always been a sure way to classify something as unfit for shadowhunters, but having grown up in the early 2000s, it had been impossible to avoid noticing the mundanes’ obsession with the… whatever it was. Alec had given Magnus an odd look when he’d placed _Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone_ in the pile of recommendation he’d accumulated on a small table.

“I went to Britain for that version,” he’d told Alec, who had no idea what he was talking about. “The change bothered me too much. I mean really, what’s a sorcerer’s stone?”

The pile (“They’re just suggestions, Alec, I certainly don’t expect you to read all of them!”) had also included _The Picture of Dorian Gray_ (“Ok, this one is essential.”),   _Pride and Prejudice_ (“I always did adore _Persuasion_ , personally, but conventional wisdom holds this is Austen at her best.”), _Dracula_ (“You’ve got to be kidding me.” “Oh come on Alexander, it’s rather amusing.”), _Leaves of Grass_ (“I don’t know if you’re one for poetry, but I’m adding this just in case.”), _Boy Meets Boy_ (“...” “It’s cute.”), _Max Havelaar_ (“Not as anti-colonial as some think, I have quite mixed feelings on it, but why not.”), _We_ (“Don’t bother with 1984, read this one.”), _The Trial_ (“Poor Franz really knew how to capture the bleakness of the era.”), _Battle Royale_ (“Quite unsettling, but an interesting read.”) and _The Great Gatsby_ (“I do love a good criticism of capitalism.”).

Of course Alec wasn’t the best judge, but he did wonder if Magnus hadn’t strayed a bit from “pop culture” with some of his recommendations.

Suppressed curiosity from his childhood had led Alec to begin with _Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone_. He’d yet to decide whether he liked it or not when he, after reaching the third chapter, closed it to look at Magnus. His boyfriend - it still felt surreal, even calling him that internally - was reading too. A History of Bisexuality, it said on the cover.

“Don’t you…”

Alec stopped abruptly, but Magnus had already looked up at him.

“Yes?”

“I just.. I mean, uh, well I was thinking, uhm, with you…. uh, living for so long, isn’t it, uhm, that is…” Alec stuttered.

Magnus took pity on him.

“You’re wondering how much I get out of history books when I have lived experience of some of the eras described?” He asked.

“Yeah…”

Magnus seemed to consider the question for a bit.

“I wasn’t everywhere at once, as much as portalling can create that illusion,” Magnus began. “And spotting trends can be easier with the benefit of hindsight. Besides, knowing what is currently thought of the past can be quite illuminating about the now. But yes, I do sometimes find myself chuckling at misconceptions. Really, what people commonly make of corsets these days...”

Alec listened closely to Magnus’ words. While doing so he was filled by a pressing thought along with a feeling he couldn’t identify.

“Could you, uhm…” Alec started, staring at his hand as he moved it repetitively. “I just… I don’t know anything about... “

Alec trailed off again, but he wasn’t going to make Magnus carry the whole conversation.

“I don’t know anything about, uhm… being gay, or, or bisexual… the history… I was wondering if you could maybe… tell me about it?”

His voice had gone all weird on the last few words, and he still wasn’t quite speaking in complete sentences, but at least it had been coherent. He thought - Magnus still hadn’t said anything. Alec finally looked up at him to see if he could gauge his reaction, only to avert his gaze again when it didn’t prompt Magnus to talk.

“I’m sorry, I’ll… you shouldn’t have to…”

“No, no, Alec, it’s fine,” Magnus said leaning forward to rest a hand on Alec’s arm.

(He didn’t stop his restless hand though. Magnus never stopped his hands.)

“I’m just… surprised,” Magnus said. “And… very unsure where to begin.”

Alec, feeling as if he’d been a burden all evening, racked his brain for something for Magnus to start with. He thought of one of the books, the one by Oscar Wilde. He’d heard his name mentioned once or twice, in that sneer that could only mean one of a few things. And Magnus would have mentioned it if that book had been by a downworlder.

“How about… Oscar Wilde?” Alec said uncertainty.

Magnus lightened up a bit up at that.  

“Oh, Oscar, Oscar was a darling, simply marvelous. He never knew I was immortal, we weren’t close, but I always did feel like he’d somehow gotten the idea from me… As for… well, it was terrible, of course, the way it all ended...”

Magnus shook his head, clearly reminiscing and clueless of the fact that Alec had no idea what he was talking about.

“How that fool Bosie ever managed to convince him is still beyond me,” he continued and in doing so lost Alec completely, though he didn’t seem to notice. “Robbie was a dear, though; really came through for Oscar. I’d left London at that point, always wondered if…”

He frowned, then shook his head and finally looked at Alec again.

“Uhm,” Alec said eloquently. “What happened to him?”

Magnus studied Alec’s face for a moment.

“He was sentenced to hard labour, for loving a man,” he said. “Well, for gross indecency, technically, but same difference…”

“I kept wondering…” Alec said tonelessly. “If they’d strip me of my runes. They used to.”

“Even shadowhunter culture must follow the times, even if they always are around three decades behind,” Magnus said.

How anyone could ever think Magnus unfeeling was beyond Alec.

“Something tells me it wasn’t Oscar Wilde you were interested in, though?”

“Perhaps something more general,” Alec admitted. “Or, uhm, personal, if you want…”

“It’s never been easy, Alexander,” he admitted. “I grew up surrounded by people who thought it wrong to be as I am, just as you did.”

“It must have been worse,” Alec protested, eyes on his hand again. “I… I mean what I’ve gone through is hardly…”

“Hush, Alexander, it’s plenty comparable,” Magnus said gently. “It’s the same as it’s always been: throughout history, people have hated us, like they hate everything that is different…”

Magnus was quiet for a moment, but when Alec intertwined their hands, he continued.

“It was interconnected for me, you know,” Magnus said. “I spent a long time thinking it was just another sinful fact of my existence… a sodomite half-demon...”

Alec’s heart tightened at the thought of Magnus, beautiful, strong, fearless Magnus, reduced to such self-hate. To… well, to Alec of a year ago.

Magnus shook his head a bit and smiled wryly.

“I haven’t thought that way in centuries, of course, but I won’t pretend it was always easy for me,” he said.

Alec nodded. “Thank you for telling me,” he said.

Magnus smiled and kissed him softly.

“I’ve never talked about it like this before,” he said once they parted. “So thanks for listening.”

“I’m always interested in what you have to say,” Alec said earnestly and Magnus chuckled, though Alec didn’t entirely get how it was funny.

“Now, onto more cherry subjects,” Magnus said and got up from the couch. “It isn’t all doom and gloom, you know; being queer.”

“I know,” Alec mumbled. “I get to kiss you.”

The look Magnus send him at that was so full of earnest adoration, so open and soft, that Alec had to look away, his cheeks burning up.

“Come,” Magnus said after a while, taking his hand. “I’m going to show you my collection of pride badges, the 80s ones are marvelous.”

 

 

It turned out Magnus had a truly impressive amount of such badges. Alec chuckled a bit at one that said _Gay is good but bi is best_ and - though he wasn’t sure he got the reference - at one saying _I support the homosexual agenda_.

“Did you really use to wear these?”

“It was the fashion, darling.”

 

 

Alec fell a bit in love with one saying _There is no choice in being yourself_ and Magnus almost forced him to keep it.

“It’s not doing any good in my drawer, Alexander,” he chided, and Alec supposed he couldn’t argue with that.

 

 

“What’s with the “milk?” Alec asked after a while, having noticed several badges with the word.

If he’d known how amused Magnus would have been, maybe he’d have kept his confusion to himself.

“How was I supposed to know it was a person!” Alec protested as Magnus kept laughing.

At least he knew who Harvey Milk was now.

 

 

After Magnus got over his amusement, they went back to looking at the badges. They each looked at them in silence for a while, but then Magnus picked up one saying Glad to be gay and smiled.

“These were very common, especially in the 70s…” He told Alec. “You know, I should show you this song, that certainly speaks to the history…”

They put away the badges - except the one Magnus had made Alec keep - and went back to the couch where Magnus found _Glad To Be Gay_ on youtube and played it for him.

Alec had never felt more like he didn’t know anything about being gay than he did while listening to that song. Sure, the context was mostly British, but he’d never even realised that the police… well, he knew now. He knew now.

 

 

It was Alec’s day off and for once, there was nothing to interrupt it. No sudden call, no appearance of someone who wanted Magnus for something, nothing. They got the evening to themselves, so they ordered Indian take-out and ate it on the couch. Magnus had taken it upon himself to not just add to Alec’s knowledge of literature, but his knowledge of television as well. He’d put on a show called _Downton Abbey_ and was snarkily commenting on all the historical inaccuracies… and everything else, for that matter.

“It’s so obviously conservative propaganda,” he told Alec, who hid a smile; it was clear Magnus enjoyed watching the show, despite his chagrin. “I have fond memories from the time, of course, but I would never wish us to go back to that type of codified inequality.”

“You know, I think the Institute would approve of this show,” Alec said dryly.

Magnus laughed at that.

 

 

They stayed up late that night; Alec wanted to make the most of what time with Magnus he could get and Magnus has a weird sleep schedule, anyway. They made out for a bit, before Magnus got up to get a glass for himself. Once he had it in his hand, he nonchalantly used his magic to fill it with liquid. He’d offered to make Alec a drink as well, but though alcohol was growing on Alec, it was going rather slowly, so he declined.

“The 80s were terrible, even for downworlders,” Magnus told him as he sat down next to him again. “We were immune, of course, but… all that… death…”

Magnus shook his head and took a sip of his drink.

“I’m not even used to people dying on me when they’re old, but all those young, promising people…“ he made a motion with his hand, “gone. Just like that.”

Alec sank something. The first time he had heard about AIDS had been in a mean-spirited joke. The limited research he’d done to understand it had set him back at least a year in being honest with himself.

“And the way everyone just…. ignored it,” Magnus’ expression was either pained or indignant, Alec couldn’t tell which. “It was the most hopeless thing… I’m glad you didn’t live through that.”

There was little Alec could say to that, and nothing that seemed right, so Alec didn’t say anything, he just took Magnus’ hand. Perhaps he didn’t need to say anything. Perhaps listening, and knowing, was enough.

 

 

“You know, there’s no way you’re getting out of going to Pride with me after all of this,” Magnus teased him as he was about to leave the next morning.

“I already promised you to watch all those _Star_ movies-”

“ _Star Wars_.”

“-with you,” Alec argued, just for the sake of it.

“We can watch all of my favourites from the silent film era instead, if you’d rather,” Magnus offered.

“You’d just make me watch that _Star Warp_ -”

“ _Wars_.”

“-thing at some other point,” Alec said. “Or Simon would.”

Magnus made a face as if to say, well, yeah, true, and shrugged.

“We’re still going to Pride though.”

Alec just laughed, losing the pretense of resistance.

“Yeah, sure, but I really do need to get back,” he said.

“No better way to know history than to live it, Alexander,” Magnus said with a wink before kissing him goodbye.

**Author's Note:**

> idek what this is but, uhm, here, i guess *shoves it at the fandom* 
> 
> All the mentioned badges are real badges. As for Glad To Be Gay, there are many different versions adjusted for then-current politics. They can be found at: http://gladtobegay.net/
> 
> Alec probably isn't diagnosed with autism because I doubt shadowhunter parents care for that sort of thing, but yeah, he's def autistic (he's ours now)
> 
> Thanks to Sidsel for beta-ing.


End file.
